匹克尼克來江邊。

升上高中之前，和同学一起去看一看这些地方。我们在橱窗里，看着外面的世界，人来人往。有些事情的到来，比我们想象的要早许多，就像毫无预兆的暴风雨，直接把我们推向海域边缘。

旧金山的夏天只有十几度，空气透明得发蓝。清晨和黄昏，我们站在岸边，看半岛上的飞机起起落落。

渔人码头比想象的要安静许多。

费城的草坪上有士兵的管乐表演。

普林斯顿大学。

从旧金山郊外的停车场望出去

Princeton University，最耐得住镜头的推敲。校园外有很棒的Italian Ice和Peppermint chocolate ice cream.

离岸越远，视野越宽广。生命也是这样。

Many believed that there once was a creature, Mo, who stole dreams from people. Scanning my life in the rear view mirror, I see this distant name lingering in every single page of my diary, haunting me with its weary look. Mo has never come to me, and my empty nightmares remain the same. I'll carry these clips for good, until someday I collapse and sleep deep under.

We were lucky, you and I. We were lucky to meet and became friends, so that we were able to build the wooden bridge in the sunbeam, staring at each other as if we could stay like this forever. You called me your dear one, then I thought something was going to happen, but no. Our life went on, with the summer air filled with the scent of strawberry icecream. We would sit in the doorway, just us, let the sun got us blinded.

Sensitive as we were, both of us didn't make the first move. If either person accidentally hurt the other, everything will be burnt out. Such braniac guy wouldn't take such a risk.

Yet we were so different in this school, which was just a temporary stop for those kids who were moving elsewhere. New Zealand or America, I didn't know. Together, we floated in this harbor, never settled. We were watching others coming and going, feeling insecure. And this odd insecurity creeped everywhere, deserted you and me. No dawn, no day, we were always in this twilight. It was indeed weird until the truth revealed.

It didn't hurt, it really didn't. I felt this tiny tingle down my spine, and then it was gone. It was 85℉ that night, but I couldn't help shaking. I widened my eyes in the darkness of New Jersey, listening to what they told me. I never asked for the reason why you kept this away from us for more than 6 months. I never even thought you owed me an explanation. 

"They were kissin' in the elevator, Jere's hands were on her hips."

"She said his dick is pretty huge, made her itchy."

"They kicked his roommate out of their room and took a shower together."

I couldn't think more about it the next morning. I couldn't talk. The scenario just flashed by, over and over again, until the sunshine opened my eyelids. I hesitated a bit - was it a dream last night, to chill in coldness and to hear about this drama? I started to wonder what they were doing right next to our room. Would she wake up in his arms, or kept riding his body? I shivered.

My roommate lay beside me, stared at the ceiling for, like, forever. Then suddenly she asked,"Why didn't you give him a reply in Grade 8?"

I was like, "What?"

"I mean he was all around you, and he didn't seem to get your response anyway."

No, he didn't. It just didn't matter anymore. It wouldn't change a thing.

The door bell rang, his roommate was coming for a bed. This is way brutal for too many people. Strangely, for me, it didn't hurt that bad. 

Once again, I found myself sitting on the floor, he was murmuring my name, soft as always.

Now that Mo had drifted away, I just couldn't see myself in him anymore. Mo didn't linger, nor did it turn back. I watched as it went away, its silhouette turned into a tiny spot, eventually disappeared into the forest, under the jaded sky.

刚刚去靠近门口的那个洗手间敷面膜。发现瓷白的水槽里面竟然放着两大块冰, 闻上去居然还有腥臭。顿时就以为自己进了男厕所，面前的是便槽。

仔细想一想，原来是家里买了海鲜，用冰块冻住带回家的。真是……

致艾丽丝真是一首很厉害的歌。在我刚学吉他的时候就练过，现在又练到第二个版本的。所有人都听了太多遍，有些反胃，但是又有很多人乐此不疲的改变。而且，在我停止练钢琴两年之后，还经常会发现自己的两根手指在桌上交替弹"咪瑞咪瑞"。上周末看的一部叫Elephant的电影里面，一个男孩子在弹致艾丽丝，房间里的另一个人在玩枪杀游戏，惨白的雪地上面，手无寸铁的人被一个个杀掉。一曲终，他们在网上买了一把步枪，接着回学校把学生校长都毙掉。那男孩始终很恬静，最后用枪在吻过的同伴背后激起血花。

不知道是不是很多人去过Subway? 记得在Paramatta，晚上出门左拐就是镇上小小的商业区，有超市，麦当劳，肯德基。再往里走，有一家影碟店，和旁边Subway里面形单影只的男人很搭。Subway的标牌很干净前卫的感觉，可是你的目光往下移，就会发现这只是一家小小的，昏黄的热狗店，玻璃上挂着霓虹灯管的OPEN的标志，还错以为自己到了罗马旧城区或柬埔寨。柜台里的东西好像都冰冰的，里面三张小圆桌，两个男人分开坐，眼睛直直望着窗外。后来到了深圳，中心区有一家挺大的购物中心，外面一圈都是商店，甚至在这里，Subway都是缩在一个角落，我急急走过去——还是那样黄渍渍的门面。

说到快餐呢，以前我经常听身边小朋友说，如果我怎样怎样，妈妈就带我吃麦当劳！看我的表情，他们会有点尴尬又自豪的补充: 或者是肯德基噢！但是因为从小就不常去，自然对里面的东西没有什么好感。只是觉得麦当劳的薯饼很不错，肯德基的鸡肉很糙。像在尼斯的肯德基，里面一个白人都没有。可是在中国啊，看得出肯德基是花了很大力气迎合中国口味的，比如说有一次推出的凉凉的笋就很好吃。但是它毕竟叫啃得鸡，它的鸡肉却一点也不好吃…最近麦当劳推出了南非鸡翅，我看它分量少就拎了一份，出人意料的好。

二零零七年的生蚝。如果它们没有被我吃掉，现在该多少岁了啊……

胃?我不是那种天天熬夜不吃正餐然后抱着肚子说胃痛的文艺女青年，像我的前任中文老师一样，我也试过半夜很丢脸地饿醒。可是胃啊，它的血管间都长满了故事。

我朋友都知道我超爱生蚝，不是那种加番茄酱加Tabasco的胖生蚝，是那种小小的，壳很厚的，带几缕海水咸味。我十一岁以前见过的都是长长肥肥白白的，每次我看见别人吃我都"哦好吧，我是要疯了才会去吃"。但是后来去了一趟巴黎彻底改观。在澳洲跑来跑去的那段时间，几乎每天都在吃，比巴黎的还要娇小。悉尼市场里面有很棒的生蚝，个头小小的，按产地分类，有好多种可以选。我拿了一盘塔斯马尼亚的，真的。。。在口里好像液体一样柔顺，又有海水和青柠的混合味道。

我对乌贼过敏，吃了的话身上会有小小的红点，幸好我不觉得它是一种很迷人的食物。我一直分不清calamari和squid，因为我没有见过它们活着的样子，即使是向我游过来，它们也不会对我说"我是squid，旁边那个是calamari"。但是我知道squid中文叫墨鱼，因为那个S-Q-U-I-D的声音很像“吱～”的一下把墨喷出来。有时候吃墨鱼圈，我妈妈会很警惕的问那是什么?我说是calamari，不是squid... 她好像也就很放心的让我吃了(由此可证她绝对分不清)。可是到现在我还是没搞清楚谁是谁。

有一次上课，我正在观察坐我旁边的男孩子，心想，聪明有趣又有严重洁癖的市游泳队种子选手……他突然拿出一根细电线一样的东西，白色半透明，让我猜是什么。我连老人的头发都猜到了(他.... 他去哪里拔的?)，他一直摇头。原来是他家猫的胡子，让我想起虾的须。小时候我就很喜欢戳虾的残骸，可是中国的虾子都软软的，还没从超市拿到家就要死掉了。澳大利亚的虾有点吓人，死了你还觉得它们活着，虾竟然可以给人留下托尔斯泰一样的印象，一定是修炼很久了。坐船去大堡礁的时候，游船公司在海上有一处私人浮台，就在那里午餐。刚开始我头很晕，吃了两个晕船用的姜片，背后坐着六个裸壮汉(或者壮裸男)，之前一直在甲板上晒皮肤，不过肌肉是恰到好处的那种——我觉得我好gay... 后来取食物的地方出现了下午茶那样的几层的盘子——如果再吃甜食我真的会吐出来，幸好他们只是在上面摆了十几个有点像苹果的暗红色的水果而已。终于在一堆冰块上面出现了很多虾，很肥壮的那一类，肉质很紧实，还是有一股很让人喜欢的海水甜味，拿它来沾一些甜甜酸酸的泰酱，是我在深圳怎样也学不出来的美味，因为这边的虾实在是太废了。

注意我头上的标语就可以知道究竟有多少中国人去吃了。噢！BTW BTW！悉尼鱼市场里面有一家寿司店里面卖的青柠苏打水超级超级好喝！其他地方都没有看见过。我一个人喝了三瓶。最后我又拿着一把零钱给那个日本女孩子的时候，她已经很自豪了= =

 可是在这样一个年纪就变成lifelover, 多少有点难过。